We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
