I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
