i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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