is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
