It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
