Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
