Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
