youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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