i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
