is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
