Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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