I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize