god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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