Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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