dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
