Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
