Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
sex in a hospital.. check
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
