Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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