Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
