you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
