I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
