Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
