I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
