I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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