dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
