I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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