when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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