My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
