kristin has been a bad kristin
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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