I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it's like heaven, but drunker
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
