kristin has been a bad kristin
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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