Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
