margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
