are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She's the barista slut.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
