Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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