playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
