we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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