she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
