She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
you're hired as official boob wrangler
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
