Just fell off a train. Bad.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
