Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize