its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize