I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im about as happy as oj after his trial
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
