We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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