Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
