i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
