There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize