Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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