I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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