Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
