She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
