Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
