I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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