okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
