I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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