y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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