I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
