I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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