Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
